The Single Dad Journey, starts here.....

So.... the single dad life huh? It’s all half the responsibility, living the good life, being a cool dad for half the week and partying the other half, while swiping through endless hot yummy mummy Tinder profiles and hook-up-heaven!!!          

Annnnnnd….. then there’s me. And my single dad life. 

And maybe, just maybe, its not just me and my story is not too dissimilar to yours, or someone you know, or you just really like reading blogs about the failings of a single dad? Either way, "Hi" and thanks for reading on with the hope this might get more interesting and helpful than the last few paragraphs. 

Why does anyone give a shit?

Does the world really need ANOTHER blog, in a world already over flowing with too many blogs, and podcasts, and social feeds offering never-ending opinions and advice, from people who think they have something to say, about what someone else has said, about what someone else has done? No probably not, but fuck it, here I am writing my first blog. And I'm doing it because I quickly realised that much like becoming a parent (before the single part), there’s no real guide book to prepare you or help you deal with the shock of becoming a single dad. 

What I did find was  lots of REALLY helpful people, who have never been a single parent, offering their wonderfully enlighting free advice and opinions. On everything.

E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G.

Whether you ask for it or not. 

“What? You're not dating anyone yet? Really? Why not? Aren't you on Tinder? It's meant to be so easy to find someone"

"How much did you get in your settlement? You should ask for more. You should have done it differently"   

"You really need to get out more. I have a friend who is a single mum, you two would have so much in common"

Yeah thanks for that, it's just so helpful of you to freely share your opinion on everything I'm doing wrong in your eyes, and I really do genuinely appreciate all of your selfless disapproval and thought provoking advice.

Now if you don't mind, if at all possible, could you FUCK OFF? Please?

Google, Alexa, Siri, anyone!? "How do I, be a single dad?"

When I went to find answers and advice on how to be a single dad, there wasn’t much out there in Googleland. So before you keep reading, I just want to clear something up. I don't have the answers. I don't know if I'm doing this right. In fact I really don’t know what I'm doing. And that's just the writing the blog part. I'm literally just learning and making it up as I go. But what I can offer is all my mistakes, and all of my learning from hindsight. And if that helps someone in any way, awesome.   

I found friends, and friends of friends who were becoming single dads, wanting to know about my experience, asking lots of questions about all aspects of this new life. Sharing what worked, what didn’t work, and that its O.K. not to know. It's ok to be sad, it's ok to be angry, it's ok to laugh, it's ok to cry, it's ok to be a complete fucking mess…… and it's ok to bitch a little about what pisses you off about your ex and vent and get shit off your chest. And the biggest discovery while feeling more alone than I have here felt, was I was far from alone. Other dads had the same struggles, thoughts and feelings. And other mums I know had the same thoughts and feelings. And when you know that, you know you are not going through this by yourself. You are not alone.

I have never written or published a blog before, so this is new for me too. I haven’t even really read any blogs. Or looked up the “How to Write a Successful Blog in 23 and a half steps”, if such a blog about writing blogs exists. So If I am doing it all wrong, well that’s just me and just like being a single dad, I’ll learn as I go. And I’m sure SOMEONE will tell me how to do it right.

I have two reasons for writing this blog:

1. Get stuff off my chest. For me to write is therapy, it's healthy, it's cathartic and in the end it tells a story. 

2. If what I write helps - If it allows you or someone you know to feel normal. If it creates a connection to your world, and we can both learn form each others experiences, then that is pretty cool.

Are you really still reading this?

Thank you for being here and reading my words. I certainly didn’t ever think I’d be writing a blog about being a single dad, but here I am. Sometimes it's hard. REALLY fucking hard. And that's just the blog. Ha. Dad joke. Boom. Mic Drop. But yes the single dad part can be really hard. And lonely. And what a delightful combination that is? But……  

YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

Theres me for a start. So now there’s you and me. AND….it’s totally worth it. Because you are helping to shape and guide a real life mini human being person thingy. Or two, or three or however many you may have. And I bet by doing that, you will learn more about yourself than you ever thought possible. 

Being a single dad is by far the the most creative, challenging, slightly scary and passionately rewarding job I have ever had. 

And I love it. I love him.

And "him" is Jethro. And he is awesome. 

(Most of the time). 

Cheers

Ben

P.S. If you liked that, click below for all of the blogs on my single dad life so far.